It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
