hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Everything about him screamed your future.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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