you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
