Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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