dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
