Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
