Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
