It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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