im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
