with your own penis?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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