At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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