mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
