Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
