sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
