Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
