You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize