Me too!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
