Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
