i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
