I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
