Already got asked if we're dating
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
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