Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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