Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
