hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize