i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
