i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We need to get me chipped asap
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
