Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
