yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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