What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize