Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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