I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
