We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
