People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
