I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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