I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
