Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.