i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize