Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.