wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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