What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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