he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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