remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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