Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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