I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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