White coat. Heels.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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