This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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