I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
