You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
