READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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