We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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