Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
