i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
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Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
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