and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
