i think i have two assholes
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
