So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
