evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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