At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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