I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
