Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
