then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
