He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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