That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
