We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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