Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
